Discovering yourself

For a change let me move out of the usual topic of our country . Shall discuss about the worldly things we encounter often . Today after a long time , probably after 2 months i had gone to a restaurant to have some good food . I went alone as usual . some people find it odd if u go alone , but i really do enjoy going alone , becoz u notice others n it gives a moment to think of yourselves and the surrounding u live in . I see people working at restaurant to prepare my food . I see a waiter , i see his condition . Thought of him for a while what could have pushed him to this job . I see all dressed well with all good manners . He wishes us n makes us feel good with all warmth . Suddenly this thing struck my mind , i just thought of the air hostess in a plane , the way she always smiles n wishes without getting sick of it . How is it possible ? Does it happen naturally or do they force themselves ? Customer service people do need a lot of patience . i mean u just think of a moment when u are frustrated with something else n show that anger towards these ppl if u happen to encounter . There is no mistake on their side . It just needs a lot of training to deal with your mind .

i moved out of the topic . So , i m in the restaurant having my cup of milk shake all alone . I notice ppl sitting besides me . Towards my left i see a group of college girls having fun , guess kinda of get together . I had become too old for such things . I just thought of it , will i ever be able to make myself to such kinda of get together . No , was the reply i got from myself . I guess i had crossed such stage . No more room for such kinda of fun . Probably i guess i had become too serious with life . On the verge of my career , these things doesn't happen to amuse me . I see to my opposite a couple of families with kids . Is this the next stage of your life ? i don't have an answer now . I see them all happy with their kids . So then i started thinking what this is all about . I see ppl complete graduation n getting married . Some love marriages and some arranged . Some marriages out of compulsion , do they really wanna get married or is it just to please their parents ? how much will u please others ? how long will u please them like that ? aren't ppl living for themselves ? why s that we take decisions for others ? cant we live our life on our own terms ? at least i will try my best to do this .

Now what s all this 'happiness' about . Do ppl really feel it . I see many ppl living just for the sake of living including myself . We live n die . whats the purpose between birth n death . What are u supposed to do ? should u go behind money , power , position to lead a better life ? how do u define a better life ? is it living in a posh 3 bed room apartment or in a villa of ur own with all amenities ? i see a quite a lot a questions arising out of me when i look at this world . To seek answers i m looking at my life . I keep myself questioning the purpose of whatever happens to be conventional n traditional . What s the purpose of humans on this earth ? well scientifically its just to live n lead your next generation (sustain the human species) . Are we able to do it ? well tats what happening in this world , though in different manner . we ride on top of other ppl to live . We always race ahead of others to live . we compete among ourselves n prove to this world , i m fit to live . Everytime u have to prove n keep winning . Actually u r always fighting against something to live . Even the small bacteria , viruses u encounter .

What s the purpose of life we live . Many ppl have different answers for this . Some want to become a billionaire , some like to be powerful , for some its just to lead small contented life . Each one have their own answers . I guess for me , i m yet to find an answer .

Let me stop it here .. will let u know once i find an answer . I m all in a web of questions with no answers to arrive . I m still on the path of shaping my life the way it shd be .